THE YOUNG SOPRANOS XXVII (Continued)

THE

YOUNG SOPRANOS

XXVII

BY J. BECK

2024

...

(CONTINUED)

"PAULIE WALNUTS"

FUNERAL FLOWERS

XXVII

A.J. sat at his office desk reading the morning newspaper while drinking his 711 coffee & eating a cream-stick dounut. He discovers Paulo G. obituary on the back page.  

He'd be laid out for viewing at HYLE Funeral Home.  A.J. calls Suzie-Q & instructs her to call the florist & order flowers for Paulie Walnuts at Hyle Funeral Home. (How much?) "$1K--Have the card signed: "From the Young Sopranos." (Will Do T.)--Good Girl!"

SUSAN

"SUZIE-Q"

Half-Owner & Business Partner

With A.J. Soprano of

"T-STORAGE UNITS

& TRUCK RENTALS"

Also 

Moving Hauling & Towing

           

Then A.J. called Meadow's apartment phone & left a message on her answering machine to inform her of Paulie's showing at Hyle Funeral Home & invited her to attend it with him.           

A.J. picked Meadow up & drove to Hyle Funeral Home but the parking lot was completely full so they had to park on the street.  "I sure didn't expect there to be so many to attend."  A.J. said half disgusted.           

Entering together, the Young Sopranos were greeted by Hymie dressed in a slim black-suit & tie at the door.  

HERMUS "HYMIE" HLYE

Hyle Funeral Home Directer

"Who have you come to see?" (Paulo G.) "Follow me this way."  Herman escorted them down a crowded hallway with double lines against both ways past two other over-flowing viewing & sitting rooms to the last parlor at the end of the hall.  Hymie opened the closed sliding door to find Paulie's open casket in an empty room with only one large flower display & an unsigned mourners' guest-book.  A.J. signed it as: "The Young Sopranos." (Click--Click)           

"What do think?"  Hymie asked them.  Who both answered him with a questioning look?  "How does he look?" (He looks Dead.) 

"Does it look like him as you remember him?"  A.J. & Meadow both recalled how he looked Dead the last time they seen him wearing a bullet-riddled bathrobe & slippers laying in a pool of blood in the middle of the cemetery at their father's grave. "I only ask because I take pride in my work.  He was a real challenge between the gun wounds to his head & he had these strange long & deep scratches down his face & neck to putty & air-brush away.  Then he had his throat-cut up around his jaw-line. When A.J. nudged Meadow with his elbow. (What?) Meadow glared. "So if you notice I had to slightly tilt his head forward to keep the cut hidden after I sewed it closed covered under the buttoned shirt collar.  (Sounds like you are sensitive to details.) "It's my Craft & my Curse I suppose.--The mourning families deserve my greatest effort for what they are paying for!"           

Hymie offers to give them a tour of the facility behind the scenes where all the work was done.  Passing through a false wall passage from the public viewing areas past a large glass window showing the inside of the wall of storage coolers & examining tables with two corpses laying under white sheets to a Closed Coffin Sales & Display Room where burial packages were determined by families.  

Hymie poured them a brandy to sit & make small-talk in private.  Hymie told them after everyone left after calling hours he had two bodies laid out & thawing to be cremated if they wanted to wait around to watch?

A.J. SOPRANO

  

"Sure--Why Not?"  A.J. answered for both of them--("Sounds sorta Creepy to me." Meadow adds.)           

After the last person left the funeral home & Hymie had locked up he returned to join A.J. & Meadow.  He leads them into the cooler room to remove the white sheets covering their naked corpses.  It was Benny & Martina.  Hymie points out all of the gun-shot wounds saying it's too bad they were both shot in the head. (Why's That?  If you are just going to cremate them?)  "There is a big demand for undamaged brains!" (What?)  "Brains (& Hearts) sell for big money to science & research labs!"  (You are kidding--Right?! Meadow asked shockingly) 

MEADOW (SOPRANO) WEISS

"Yea Bing. It's a joke! Just some tasteless Under-Taker Humor!"  Hymie said winking at A.J. (Well--It's not Funny.) But A.J. made a mental-note of it.  Watching through a small glass window as Benny's corpse was comsumed by fire.

"Ashes to Ashes--Dust to Dust."

A Phrase from the Burial Service in the Book of Common Prayer:

'We therefore commit this Body to the Ground, Earth to Earth, Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust; in sure and certain Hope of the Resurrection to Eternal Life.'

 

...

(To Be Continued)

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2024